Im so fucking fat

Added: Takeila Ciccone - Date: 11.01.2022 22:57 - Views: 13844 - Clicks: 4949

I know how difficult things have gotten — how cold and raw your days have become. And I have never loved you more than I do today. Because I know where you are. The shame that melts through you when you see the jeans you bought because they only had them a size too small and your friend said that would just motivate you. And what would you even wear? Considering the supplement from Dr. Dressing impeccably every day for your own security. Laughing too loudly at jokes about fat people so no one mistakes you for one. The familiar disappointment in the doctor who bypasses an exam and just tells you to lose weight.

The racing heart when you board an airplane. Making yourself as small as possible in the seat, breathing shallowly and keeping your arms and legs crossed for all 5 hours.

Im so fucking fat

The way the whole room gets silent after those comments. The moment passes. Later, you think about dying. And his reminders are going to help you finally get thin. Quietly planning your days, weeks, and life around avoiding these everyday situations that throw you into a tailspin. The heavy, humid smog of shame that settles into your life and lungs. The steady, puttering engine of anxiety. Breathing that tightens a little every day. And then, one day, you wake up and think the unthinkable: You might just be fat.

After all the money, time, worry, distraction, and shame of trying every program, pill, regimen, and trainer under the sun, it might just not happen. You might not lose 10, 20, or 50 pounds. This might just be the body you have. The thought is terrifying. Because so many of your relationships, so much of your money, and so much of your time are tied up in trying desperately to lose weightall of it, as quickly as you can. And who would take you seriously? Fat is the moral of the story. It is the worst-case scenario. Fat means being isolated, alone, lazy, weak-willed.

It means being ugly and unloved. Fat means giving up. Fat means the side comments and overt aggression from strangers, family, friends, and doctors — all of that continues. No one does. And now, my darling, you can grieve. Get sad. Cry for the cruel, insensitive things people have said to you. Laugh at the absurdity of thin people eating nachos while they lecture you about going to the gym.

Purge yourself of the terrible things people have said and done, im so fucking fat deep sadness that has weighed on you for so long, the anxiety and frustration and isolation. Then feel the extraordinary lightness in your body. Feel the weight lift from your shoulders, feel your brow unfurrow, drink in a real, deep breath. You might feel adrift.

But that feeling is a precursor to the most divine liberation. It is the glimmer of fiery sky before the sunrise.

Im so fucking fat

It is a new day, and now the world is yours. You can buy clothing that fits who you are. You can buy clothing that fits! Buy things you want to wear: bright colors and cap sleeves and drop waists and short skirts. Break fashion rules. Get bright. Get weird! Find out what your style is, beyond the endless rules set forth for you by people who hate their bodies as much as you used to hate yours. You can find other fat people, or trans peopleor people with disabilities, or intersex im so fucking fat — new friends who are also thinking dangerous thoughts.

Who are nurturing the voice in the back of their head that says that person might not have a point — they might just be a jerk. You can come out as fat. Tell your friends, your family, strangers at the grocery store, whoever you want. Practice saying it before anyone else can. Over time, it will come more naturally. You can travel, learn to roller-skate, buy a fucking bikini!

Tell someone that you like them, that you want to date them or sleep with them. You can do what you want, because what other people say is on them.

Im so fucking fat

You know who you are, and part of who you are is fat. What else can they say? You can advocate for yourself. Ask your aunt to stop talking about Jenny Craig.

Im so fucking fat

You can get what you need. You can let go of the constant running. Let go of performing, internalizing, beating yourself up. Declare a cease-fire with your body. Somewhere down the line, you may learn to love it. You may even begin to believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are. You can live your life. Do what makes you happy — really happy. Focus on your job or your family or yourself.

Volunteer or get a new job or finally ask out that cute neighbor. Put it to work building a life you love. It will take time. Friends will still say shitty things. So will strangers. The world will still come at you. The views expressed herein are those of the author. For more, follow Your Fat Friend on Twitter. I'm OK with losing out on a potential soul mate.

Losing weight is something people do for various reasons, and it can affect physical and mental health in many ways. For one woman, years of dieting…. A note to my teenage self: Ditch the diets — and the anxiety. High-fat diets are all the rage, but is eating tons of fat—even if it's im so fucking fat fat"—really great for you?

We did the research on high-fat diets. Share on Pinterest. Read this next.

Im so fucking fat

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I'm so fucking fat.